24 days later
I`m looking at my cup of tea. Hot smoke stretches towards the sealing. The fire in the candles are making the surroundings look like moving jello. It`s like the tea and the candles are reminding me that life is still on the go. The world is still moving in the same speed as it always has. Penelope is close to me, as close as she can be, breastfeeding. It feels like the world has stopped, for me. Life is on pause and I`m just soaking in the new life we have created. Her needs is my life now. Slow motion. Calm. Satisfied.
I wrote this 24 days after Penelope was born, therefor the title. A couple of weeks later I plan to finish were I started. Jepp! That`s life with a baby, you adapt, accept that your time is kinda on loan. Every time she sleeps I make a choice. Do I keep her in my arms? Put her down and take a shower, train and then take a shower, eat, hang the laundry, watch a movie or read a book? The options are many. This is the fourth time today I mean to finish this post. True story.
Because of the kids being out of school for the summer and therefor are away with their dad it`s just Penelope and me in London. We`ve bonded for real the last couple of weeks and I have had all the time in the world for just us and our needs. That`s not how the reality looks otherwise, but it has felt like and still feels like a privilege. I really miss my boys, but I`m glad they`re having a great time with their dad and making nice summer memories to cherish this upcoming fall. In a week Penelope and I will be reunited with them in Sweden. Can`t wait for that! I like routine, so even though the fall comes with juggling a life with three kids I look forward to it. I will get going with my training for real as well. Focusing on walks, core, my pelvic and light weight session for now. I can`t wait for the day I will lay on the gym floor being totally drained after a hardcore session. It`s so long since I could just give it my all without thinking consequences. Soon we`re there. Now enjoying each other is enough.